So it's been about a month since my last blog. There have been times when I wanted to update but just didn't have much to say. My life mainly consist of work, sleep (or lack of) and the stupid cats. Seriously, I'm starting to feel like the crazy cat lady.
I know everyone's wondering about baby updates but there's not much there either. I won't know the sex until December 8th and I still haven't felt any movement. I'm really wanting a girl but I think it will be a boy. I'm mainly trying to get on board with the idea because if it is a boy I don't want the Doc to see my disappointment. Just being honest. I know I will be disappointed initially but then come around. I also realize that makes me sound like a horrible person but it wouldn't be the first time.
People ask me sometimes if I feel pregnant. Right now I don't. I already was emotional and cried at everything so no change there. I don't care for most people and get annoyed with them. Also no change. I eat a lot, umm yeah no change. And since I'm not showing or feeling any movement I feel pretty much the same.
Since that's about it I have decided to just talk about some random things in my life that I find slightly amusing. Hopefully, you will too. If not, oh well.
Let's start with a new game that Joe taught me. He and his co workers decided to take names of movies and replace a word in the title with the word "vagina". Hours of fun I tell ya. If you think of any good ones please let me know. Here's just a few of my favorites: "Top Vagina", "Vagina Gump", "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Vaginas", "Harold and Kumar go to Vagina Castle", "I am Vagina", "Vagina Story", "Westside Vagina". And my very personal favorite thus far, "How Stella got her Vagina Back." The list goes on and on. Hours of fun! Well we are on a budget, we have to find some way to entertain ourselves.
Another entertaining conversation Joe and I had involved stupid names people give their children. Especially celebrities, Apple, Pilot Inspector, Moon Unit, Banjo. It's horrifying. I said we should name our child Pizza Chocolate Shaffer since we both like those things. Then we just started naming off things we enjoy and laughing. But when Joe suggested the name Boobs Beer Shaffer I was hysterical. But seriously bad names need to just stop. C-hawk? Come on! Apparently Joe know of somebody that named their kid earthquake. If it sounds like it belongs to a cartoon character, inanimate object, or professional wrestler it's a bad name. Plain and simple.
Hmm what else??? I finished Arrested Development on Netflix. Sad there is only 3 seasons though. I've discovered a new guilty pleasure show, called Sister Wives. It's about a good ole polygamist family in Utah. It's very weird yet fascinating. And I actually like the family! I think I prefer them to the Duggers. (The family from 19 kids and counting) I have also been re watching Rupaul's Drag Race. A competition show to discover America's next drag superstar. I've already seen these episodes several times but it just never gets old.
I'm hoping to have more to say next time and maybe actual pictures. Till then friends!
Friday, November 25, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Adventures From the ER
As some of you may have heard I went to the emergency room earlier this week. No major problems just wanted to make sure there was nothing really wrong with me or the baby. I basically had hours of vomiting and diarrhea. While this is a gross subject I find that brutal honesty makes for the best storytelling. So here we go...
Like I said this went on for hours with no sign of stopping. I hate doctors as most of the time doctor visits are just a waste of time. I thought I may have had food poisoning so Joe and I decided to head down to the wonderful place called the ER. Well we got there about 6:30 pm and it was packed. We were told that the wait would be about 4 hours. (Joy) I had to run to the bathroom several times during this wait. One time while in the middle of a puke marathon Joe knocked on the door to make sure that I was still alive. I should also point out that I haven't had any morning sickness at all so that wouldn't explain all the vomiting.
But despite my many trips to the bathroom I didn't miss out on all the crazies in the waiting room. The first time I sat down the people next to me smelled like poop. Not a good time. Eventually we were able to move and not have to smell them. Not long after we got there a guy was brought in on a stretcher. I'm not sure what this guy was on but I would like some in the future. He wandered around awhile before sitting down next to us. He would mumble and talk to himself from time to time. About every half hour he would scream about how he was tired of waiting to see the doctor and wanted to leave.
Also, not long after arriving there was a woman sitting across from me taking her boots off. She then took her socks off and proceeded to put on a pair with giant holes in them. She then threw the old socks in the garbage can. About an hour later she came back and changed her socks again. This time she opted to just throw them on the floor and kick them under the chair. But she was no longer wearing the boots at this point just carrying them around with her. After sitting there calmly for awhile she started clapping her hands. First just a couple times then faster. It was at this point I sent Joe a text saying 'what the fuck?' Thankfully after her clapping she moved seats again. But a few minutes later I heard her yell at someone, "You're not gonna sit there and stare at me!! It's not gonna happen!"
Now going back to crazy guy next to us. Joe was actually polite enough to talk to him for a little bit. In this time we learned that his sister would pick him up, he had no home, if you get him hi he will talk your ear off, why did he have to wait so long to see a doctor, and that he was starving. After about 2 hours into waiting he fell asleep. (Thank God) At 3 and a half hours he woke up. This was just after crazy clapping lady was leaving and ran out the door screaming, "stupid chickenshit doctors...mumble mumble." And went out the front door. A few minutes later she came back in and started yelling that they never help her when she comes in and she can't even walk because her feet hurt and blah blah blah. It was at this time an aide from the back came out and said "Here are your socks ma'am." She said he could just throw them away. (weirdo, that makes at least three pairs of socks she went through in this visit)
Now since crazy guy had just woken up he wasn't happy. He woke up yelling something but I don't remember what. But since crazy clapper was yelling at the nurses I think he thought that she was trying to argue with him. Every time she would yell so would he. Eventually the clapper left. This was when crazy guy decided to stand up and yell, "Why the hell haven't I seen a doctor? I've been here for 3 hours and the least you can do is serve us some dinner!" He was told that he needed to calm down and stand back. Which made him just yell more. He was then told if he didn't stop he would have to leave. And of course he did not so seconds later he was being dragged out.
I wish I could say that the rest of visit was as entertaining but it wasn't. I got put on iv because I was dehydrated and they ran some blood test. All my test came back normal so that was a good thing. They had me leave a urine sample and wanted me to leave a stool sample. This did not happen as I was unable to go. I'm pretty sure there was nothing left at this point buy they did not worry. Of course what do you think the first thing I had to do was when I got home?? Figures. So after getting hydrated and giving me some medicine for the nausea I was on my way. It may have been a slight waste of time but it was better to be safe than sorry. And now I have more wonderful memories to share. (awww)
Other than the crazy doctor visit my life hasn't been that interesting. We got to hear the heartbeat on Monday which was exciting. And tomorrow we are going to attempt to clean out the spare bedroom. This will be harder on Joe since it's basically his junk room. I will let you know how it goes and try and take pictures so you feel my pain. I had other random things that I was going to talk about but will have to save it for later.
Like I said this went on for hours with no sign of stopping. I hate doctors as most of the time doctor visits are just a waste of time. I thought I may have had food poisoning so Joe and I decided to head down to the wonderful place called the ER. Well we got there about 6:30 pm and it was packed. We were told that the wait would be about 4 hours. (Joy) I had to run to the bathroom several times during this wait. One time while in the middle of a puke marathon Joe knocked on the door to make sure that I was still alive. I should also point out that I haven't had any morning sickness at all so that wouldn't explain all the vomiting.
But despite my many trips to the bathroom I didn't miss out on all the crazies in the waiting room. The first time I sat down the people next to me smelled like poop. Not a good time. Eventually we were able to move and not have to smell them. Not long after we got there a guy was brought in on a stretcher. I'm not sure what this guy was on but I would like some in the future. He wandered around awhile before sitting down next to us. He would mumble and talk to himself from time to time. About every half hour he would scream about how he was tired of waiting to see the doctor and wanted to leave.
Also, not long after arriving there was a woman sitting across from me taking her boots off. She then took her socks off and proceeded to put on a pair with giant holes in them. She then threw the old socks in the garbage can. About an hour later she came back and changed her socks again. This time she opted to just throw them on the floor and kick them under the chair. But she was no longer wearing the boots at this point just carrying them around with her. After sitting there calmly for awhile she started clapping her hands. First just a couple times then faster. It was at this point I sent Joe a text saying 'what the fuck?' Thankfully after her clapping she moved seats again. But a few minutes later I heard her yell at someone, "You're not gonna sit there and stare at me!! It's not gonna happen!"
Now going back to crazy guy next to us. Joe was actually polite enough to talk to him for a little bit. In this time we learned that his sister would pick him up, he had no home, if you get him hi he will talk your ear off, why did he have to wait so long to see a doctor, and that he was starving. After about 2 hours into waiting he fell asleep. (Thank God) At 3 and a half hours he woke up. This was just after crazy clapping lady was leaving and ran out the door screaming, "stupid chickenshit doctors...mumble mumble." And went out the front door. A few minutes later she came back in and started yelling that they never help her when she comes in and she can't even walk because her feet hurt and blah blah blah. It was at this time an aide from the back came out and said "Here are your socks ma'am." She said he could just throw them away. (weirdo, that makes at least three pairs of socks she went through in this visit)
Now since crazy guy had just woken up he wasn't happy. He woke up yelling something but I don't remember what. But since crazy clapper was yelling at the nurses I think he thought that she was trying to argue with him. Every time she would yell so would he. Eventually the clapper left. This was when crazy guy decided to stand up and yell, "Why the hell haven't I seen a doctor? I've been here for 3 hours and the least you can do is serve us some dinner!" He was told that he needed to calm down and stand back. Which made him just yell more. He was then told if he didn't stop he would have to leave. And of course he did not so seconds later he was being dragged out.
I wish I could say that the rest of visit was as entertaining but it wasn't. I got put on iv because I was dehydrated and they ran some blood test. All my test came back normal so that was a good thing. They had me leave a urine sample and wanted me to leave a stool sample. This did not happen as I was unable to go. I'm pretty sure there was nothing left at this point buy they did not worry. Of course what do you think the first thing I had to do was when I got home?? Figures. So after getting hydrated and giving me some medicine for the nausea I was on my way. It may have been a slight waste of time but it was better to be safe than sorry. And now I have more wonderful memories to share. (awww)
Other than the crazy doctor visit my life hasn't been that interesting. We got to hear the heartbeat on Monday which was exciting. And tomorrow we are going to attempt to clean out the spare bedroom. This will be harder on Joe since it's basically his junk room. I will let you know how it goes and try and take pictures so you feel my pain. I had other random things that I was going to talk about but will have to save it for later.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sorry no Pictures
Okay so I know I said I would try and get pictures up of the baby, but that won't happen. Our scanner is not hooked up and I'm too lame and lazy to figure out how to put it on here from my phone. I do have a picture up on facebook in the mobile uploads album if anyone is that interested. But there's not much to see as the baby is about the size of a bean.
The good news is that everything went well and everything looks normal. I've also been back to zumba. I haven't had any morning sickness but I pretty much feel nauseous throughout the day most days. And I really just want to lay around on the couch all day. I'll be nine weeks on Wednesday. I'll be happy to be out of this first trimester. I also am dying to know what we're having!! I don't understand how people can not find out these days. It would make me crazy!
In non baby news Joe had his wisdom teeth pulled earlier this week. So he's been home everyday and goes back tomorrow. He hasn't had too many problems except his gums had to get cut on one of them and he says it hurts like a bitch. And he also only had three wisdom teeth. Weird. He's a freak of nature apparently.
Since there's not a whole lot of exciting things in my life I have decided to take this time to write about all the reasons/things that I do not and still don't like about children and or parents. Quite frankly I never really wanted kids growing up and don't like enjoy other peoples children.
Okay first off, I hate listening to people brag about their kids. I know you love your child and are proud of them but not everything they do is fantastic. And they are not special or gifted like you think they are. Hell they're probably not even that cute. I may go to hell for saying this but not all babies are cute. There I said it. Some are just plain ugly and weird looking. Especially a newborn. I always dread the awkward moment of someone saying, "look at how cute he/she is!" Umm no not really. It looks like an old man. Now this also pains me to admit this but I know I will be that annoying mother that does all these things. I know this because I think that every stupid thing my cats do is adorable. I'm trying hard to accept this but it's a work in progress.
Baby Showers: I hate them. Don't get me wrong I have been to some fun baby showers. But most of them leave me wanting to stab myself. Cheesy games and watching you open your crap while someone takes a picture of every stupid gift like they've never seen a baby outfit before. And I have one rant to go on about cards. When was it decided that cards had to be passed around at showers of any kind?? I mean that card is for the person receiving the gift, not all the guest. Why should I give a crap what your aunt Betty wrote to you in a damn card? And more importantly it's really not my business. If you really feel the need to see somebody's elses card you have issues.
Now for the last thing I really wanted to show a clip from 'Sex and the City' where Miranda gives birth. I couldn't find the clip I wanted though. I did find a shortened version of that episode but they pretty much deleted that scene I wanted. Basically Miranda ask Carrie to make sure nobody acts, "all cheerleady" So no one saying clique things like, "You can do it!" and "Ohh he's perfect!" And when the nurse does all these things Miranda just looks at Carrie and Carries says "Nurse..don't." That pretty much sums up all my feelings about that.
I've been told that motherhood softens people. I'm not entirely sure about that. Guess I'll just have to wait and see on that one. I can handle a little softness but not big gobs of it. Going back to me thinking that everything my cats do is adorable here is a random video of when Mona was a kitten. Till next time friends.
The good news is that everything went well and everything looks normal. I've also been back to zumba. I haven't had any morning sickness but I pretty much feel nauseous throughout the day most days. And I really just want to lay around on the couch all day. I'll be nine weeks on Wednesday. I'll be happy to be out of this first trimester. I also am dying to know what we're having!! I don't understand how people can not find out these days. It would make me crazy!
In non baby news Joe had his wisdom teeth pulled earlier this week. So he's been home everyday and goes back tomorrow. He hasn't had too many problems except his gums had to get cut on one of them and he says it hurts like a bitch. And he also only had three wisdom teeth. Weird. He's a freak of nature apparently.
Since there's not a whole lot of exciting things in my life I have decided to take this time to write about all the reasons/things that I do not and still don't like about children and or parents. Quite frankly I never really wanted kids growing up and don't like enjoy other peoples children.
Okay first off, I hate listening to people brag about their kids. I know you love your child and are proud of them but not everything they do is fantastic. And they are not special or gifted like you think they are. Hell they're probably not even that cute. I may go to hell for saying this but not all babies are cute. There I said it. Some are just plain ugly and weird looking. Especially a newborn. I always dread the awkward moment of someone saying, "look at how cute he/she is!" Umm no not really. It looks like an old man. Now this also pains me to admit this but I know I will be that annoying mother that does all these things. I know this because I think that every stupid thing my cats do is adorable. I'm trying hard to accept this but it's a work in progress.
Baby Showers: I hate them. Don't get me wrong I have been to some fun baby showers. But most of them leave me wanting to stab myself. Cheesy games and watching you open your crap while someone takes a picture of every stupid gift like they've never seen a baby outfit before. And I have one rant to go on about cards. When was it decided that cards had to be passed around at showers of any kind?? I mean that card is for the person receiving the gift, not all the guest. Why should I give a crap what your aunt Betty wrote to you in a damn card? And more importantly it's really not my business. If you really feel the need to see somebody's elses card you have issues.
Now for the last thing I really wanted to show a clip from 'Sex and the City' where Miranda gives birth. I couldn't find the clip I wanted though. I did find a shortened version of that episode but they pretty much deleted that scene I wanted. Basically Miranda ask Carrie to make sure nobody acts, "all cheerleady" So no one saying clique things like, "You can do it!" and "Ohh he's perfect!" And when the nurse does all these things Miranda just looks at Carrie and Carries says "Nurse..don't." That pretty much sums up all my feelings about that.
I've been told that motherhood softens people. I'm not entirely sure about that. Guess I'll just have to wait and see on that one. I can handle a little softness but not big gobs of it. Going back to me thinking that everything my cats do is adorable here is a random video of when Mona was a kitten. Till next time friends.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Slight Interuption
As you may remember from my last blog I was doing the HCG diet and planning on giving an update of the halfway point. Well that didn't really happen as that diet has gone down the crapper like most things in my life. But this time for good reason. This girl has gone and gotten herself knocked up. That may explain why my weight loss progress went down hill on the diet.
When I first took the test I wasn't entirely convinced. Number one; hcg is the hormone that the pee test look for. But all the paperwork I had said that taking the hcg drops wouldn't give you a positive pregnancy test. I took one a week earlier just for shits and grins to see what would happen and it was negative. I had also taken one a few days before this and nothing happened. So I was a little skeptical at first. I quit taking the drops that day and four days later took the test again with positive results. Altogether I think I took about six. A little ridiculous maybe but I wanted to be sure before I went to the doctor and have the nurse say, "Umm you're not pregnant dummy."
While we're very happy and excited I'm disappointed I didn't get to finish the diet. I guess now that I know it works and I can do it again. But one of the reasons I even went on the diet was so I could get pregnant and not be a big fat gob of goo. I lost sixteen pounds and have probably gained a few back. I'm refusing to step on the scale because ignorance really is bliss sometimes. I'm also still twenty pounds heavier than I would like to be. I still have hardly any clothes that fit and can't stand the sight of myself. If I think about it, it makes me want to lock myself in the bathroom and never come out. But sigh it is what it is.
Tomorrow I go back to the doctor and hopefully will get to hear the heartbeat and maybe get pictures. But I don't know for sure, we'll just have to wait and see. Let's see what else is new....
I've only been back to zumba one time since finding out. I'm so tired and drained all the time that I just haven't had the energy. I guess it's better than throwing up all the time. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things soon. I also started working to jobs again. But both part time, no sixty hour work weeks. My second job is subbing at Central Valley School District in case you forgot. I applied for a couple permanent positions but am not hopeful about getting any of them.
That's all I got for now. I'll be updating on how things are going and will hopefully get pictures tomorrow. *crosses fingers* I leave you now with a cuteness break.
When I first took the test I wasn't entirely convinced. Number one; hcg is the hormone that the pee test look for. But all the paperwork I had said that taking the hcg drops wouldn't give you a positive pregnancy test. I took one a week earlier just for shits and grins to see what would happen and it was negative. I had also taken one a few days before this and nothing happened. So I was a little skeptical at first. I quit taking the drops that day and four days later took the test again with positive results. Altogether I think I took about six. A little ridiculous maybe but I wanted to be sure before I went to the doctor and have the nurse say, "Umm you're not pregnant dummy."
While we're very happy and excited I'm disappointed I didn't get to finish the diet. I guess now that I know it works and I can do it again. But one of the reasons I even went on the diet was so I could get pregnant and not be a big fat gob of goo. I lost sixteen pounds and have probably gained a few back. I'm refusing to step on the scale because ignorance really is bliss sometimes. I'm also still twenty pounds heavier than I would like to be. I still have hardly any clothes that fit and can't stand the sight of myself. If I think about it, it makes me want to lock myself in the bathroom and never come out. But sigh it is what it is.
Tomorrow I go back to the doctor and hopefully will get to hear the heartbeat and maybe get pictures. But I don't know for sure, we'll just have to wait and see. Let's see what else is new....
I've only been back to zumba one time since finding out. I'm so tired and drained all the time that I just haven't had the energy. I guess it's better than throwing up all the time. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things soon. I also started working to jobs again. But both part time, no sixty hour work weeks. My second job is subbing at Central Valley School District in case you forgot. I applied for a couple permanent positions but am not hopeful about getting any of them.
That's all I got for now. I'll be updating on how things are going and will hopefully get pictures tomorrow. *crosses fingers* I leave you now with a cuteness break.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
HCG and Stuff
It's a been a few weeks since my last blog and a few things have been happening. Nothing overly exciting but things none the less. Where should I begin...
As most of you may know I have decided to try the HCG diet. Before I explain what exactly it is let me explain why. I've gotten lectured from everyone on why I shouldn't do it and blah blah blabity blah. At the end of the day I really don't care what you think because I will ultimately do what I want. Anyway, ever since the incident with my feet turning into stuffed turkeys I've turned into a big fatty magoo. When I wasn't working I was at home on my couch feeling sorry for myself. I had also just lost my job so I also are lots of crap. The end result is being the heaviest I have been in years and not wanting to go out in public because I can't stand the sight of myself and am embarrassed.
I've also been trying desperately to turn it around the last few months. I've been eating healthy and working out like a mad women. Initially I lost six pounds with much rejoicing. But I have been stuck since then for the last month. I'm fairly certain I may have a thyroid problem since I have a family history of that. But who has time for doctors? But back to the point. I have been working my ass off with no results. Don't get me wrong six pounds is nice but my clothes still don't fit and I still couldn't stand the sight of myself.
Long before I started this whole quest my friend Melanie had told me about the HCG diet. Her aunt did it and lost 70 pounds. I did my research and discovered that it was about one hundred dollars a bottle. So it was out of the question. Last month my friend Jana decided to go on the diet. She had lost thirty pounds on her own and had peaked despite her best efforts. So she went for it and lost another thirty pounds in a month. She also told me to look online and you can get good deals. While I was interested I wasn't entirely convinced as I'm still poor white trash.
The biggest roadblock was with HCG you only eat 500 calories a day. Two servings of fruits, two servings of vegetables, two servings of protein and two pieces of melba toast are allowed. This just sounded like a starvation diet to me. But what the drops do is burn the fat you already have and prevent your body from hoarding fat. They also suppress your appetite. But after seeing Jana's success I was more convinced.
But what made decide one hundred percent to do was my mom paid for it. Plain and simple. My mom had heard about it because my brothers have girlfriends that have done it and it worked for them as well. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello?
Mom: Hey, I decided to order the HCG drops. I ordered one for you too if you want to do it.
Me: Okay.
She also only paid about thirty dollars. So Jana was right you can find good deals online.
It's been a little over two weeks and I've lost 13 pounds so far. I would like to lose about 40. I was initially only going to do it for 30 days but have decided to go to 45, which is the max you can do it. I haven't been as hungry as I thought I would be so that's good. But you also drink a lot of water. I basically pee every five minutes. They also want you to eat 100-150 calories a day in vegetables. Which is about two cups per serving. The down side is all that fiber can take a toll on the digestive system. Two words. Salad shooter. I don't think there's much else to say about that.
Since you're only eating limited calories you can't exercise. Which means no zumba. I'm having terrible withdrawals. I'm also afraid when I go back I will have forgotten all the moves. It is nice not having to worry about finding the time...oh hold on..I have to pee again be right back. Okay back. Anyway, it's nice to not have to worry about trying to find the time to go to the gym or feel guilty about not going.
I measured myself and will measure again at the halfway point. Which will be next week so I will update then. Till next time, turtle power!
I also realize that I go back and forth between writing the numbers and then just putting the number. Example: twenty-four and 24. Oh well.
As most of you may know I have decided to try the HCG diet. Before I explain what exactly it is let me explain why. I've gotten lectured from everyone on why I shouldn't do it and blah blah blabity blah. At the end of the day I really don't care what you think because I will ultimately do what I want. Anyway, ever since the incident with my feet turning into stuffed turkeys I've turned into a big fatty magoo. When I wasn't working I was at home on my couch feeling sorry for myself. I had also just lost my job so I also are lots of crap. The end result is being the heaviest I have been in years and not wanting to go out in public because I can't stand the sight of myself and am embarrassed.
I've also been trying desperately to turn it around the last few months. I've been eating healthy and working out like a mad women. Initially I lost six pounds with much rejoicing. But I have been stuck since then for the last month. I'm fairly certain I may have a thyroid problem since I have a family history of that. But who has time for doctors? But back to the point. I have been working my ass off with no results. Don't get me wrong six pounds is nice but my clothes still don't fit and I still couldn't stand the sight of myself.
Long before I started this whole quest my friend Melanie had told me about the HCG diet. Her aunt did it and lost 70 pounds. I did my research and discovered that it was about one hundred dollars a bottle. So it was out of the question. Last month my friend Jana decided to go on the diet. She had lost thirty pounds on her own and had peaked despite her best efforts. So she went for it and lost another thirty pounds in a month. She also told me to look online and you can get good deals. While I was interested I wasn't entirely convinced as I'm still poor white trash.
The biggest roadblock was with HCG you only eat 500 calories a day. Two servings of fruits, two servings of vegetables, two servings of protein and two pieces of melba toast are allowed. This just sounded like a starvation diet to me. But what the drops do is burn the fat you already have and prevent your body from hoarding fat. They also suppress your appetite. But after seeing Jana's success I was more convinced.
But what made decide one hundred percent to do was my mom paid for it. Plain and simple. My mom had heard about it because my brothers have girlfriends that have done it and it worked for them as well. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello?
Mom: Hey, I decided to order the HCG drops. I ordered one for you too if you want to do it.
Me: Okay.
She also only paid about thirty dollars. So Jana was right you can find good deals online.
It's been a little over two weeks and I've lost 13 pounds so far. I would like to lose about 40. I was initially only going to do it for 30 days but have decided to go to 45, which is the max you can do it. I haven't been as hungry as I thought I would be so that's good. But you also drink a lot of water. I basically pee every five minutes. They also want you to eat 100-150 calories a day in vegetables. Which is about two cups per serving. The down side is all that fiber can take a toll on the digestive system. Two words. Salad shooter. I don't think there's much else to say about that.
Since you're only eating limited calories you can't exercise. Which means no zumba. I'm having terrible withdrawals. I'm also afraid when I go back I will have forgotten all the moves. It is nice not having to worry about finding the time...oh hold on..I have to pee again be right back. Okay back. Anyway, it's nice to not have to worry about trying to find the time to go to the gym or feel guilty about not going.
I measured myself and will measure again at the halfway point. Which will be next week so I will update then. Till next time, turtle power!
I also realize that I go back and forth between writing the numbers and then just putting the number. Example: twenty-four and 24. Oh well.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Ocean Shores Trip
Last week I went on my first ever paid time off vacation. And I needed it badly. I left on Monday July 11th around noon. There was no need to leave super early because my friend had to work that day till about 9:30 pm. I drove all the way to Ocean Shores Washington. Everyone was acting like it was going to be this long arduous drive, well mainly my mom not everyone. She didn't want me to go at all because, well she's a paranoid freak. Anyway the drive was pretty easy. The only time I hit any traffic was driving through Tacoma. (where everyone drives like they're on crack by the way) I only stopped once in Ellensburg and made it in seven hours. That first night we just went to the bar and hung out.
On Tuesday
we drove to Auburn for a concert called Metalfest. I don't really listen to rock but decided that if I got drunk I really wouldn't care about the music. And I was right. Our old friend Kent from McDonald's happened to be going so we met up with him and drank in the parking lot. (he lives in Seattle now, he didn't make the drive from Spokane) We drank in the parking lot because the drinks inside were expense as hell. To the left is a picture of me with my fourteen dollar margarita. I thought well for that much money it must at least be strong. Nope. I paid that much money for a fucking slushy. I'm pretty sure there wasn't any alcohol in it. But that's okay I just had to drink some more. After hanging out in the beer garden and walking around we decided to go hang out on the grass. One of Kent's buddies got his flask taken away by a power hungry wanna be cop security guard. I think he should have at least dumped it and given it back. But Kent had a bottle of vodka strapped to his leg. Cuz that's how we roll, we keep it classy. As indicated by the next picture. If you look behind Kent (the guy flipping the bird) you can notice a 
girl passed out. I told you we kept it classy. We only watched a couple of the bands play. We saw Megadeath and Godsmack. They put on a pretty good show. But because we were in the pacific nort
hwest it decided to rain. I was surprised at how many people left. Aren't they used to that??? But we decided that we would stay. I mean we payed thirty dollars to a scalper for those tickets. We went back to the beer garden and got drenched. And made it back to see Godsmack play. To the right is me getting soaked and drinking an eight dollar adult beverage.
After the concert we stopped at the muckleshoot casino and I won a whole eight dollars. Haley on the other hand lost two hundred and forty so eight is good for me.
The next day it was off to Portland. Haley's friend was having a birthday party and had rented out a bar. There was a Prince tribute band that could actually play and put on a good show. This night was fun but I'm pretty sure that the bartender was making all my drinks with water because by the end of the night I was still sober and that sucked. We stayed the night at her friends house and went back to Ocean Shores on Thursday. The last night there we just hung out and went down to the bar. (When I say the bar I mean the bar. There's only one in the whole town)
After drinking at the bar we went down to the beach. (finally) We had a bonfire and continued to drink some more. I even drank beer which is unusual for me because I can't stand it. A good time was had by all. Friday I made the drive home. (With a slight hangover, damn you beer) It took me eight hours this time because I got stuck in even worse ass traffic in Tacoma. (note to self never go back to Tacoma)
You're probably wondering what Joe did the entire time I was gone. He was on vacation too but he did absolutely nothing the entire time. He sat on his ass and played video games for five days. And miss me of course. He couldn't have been happier. You're also probably wondering why there are no pictures of the ocean from my trip to Ocean Shores. I simply didn't take any. Oh well. But here's another pic of me and Haley.
This past week home has been pretty much the same as usual. Going back to zumba was tough after a week off. This coming week the teacher at Eastpoint will be on vacation so no classes. I think I may die next time I go to class. I have been searching the web for one of my favorite zumba routines but can't find it. I will keep looking though so that I can share it. Till next time!
On Tuesday
we drove to Auburn for a concert called Metalfest. I don't really listen to rock but decided that if I got drunk I really wouldn't care about the music. And I was right. Our old friend Kent from McDonald's happened to be going so we met up with him and drank in the parking lot. (he lives in Seattle now, he didn't make the drive from Spokane) We drank in the parking lot because the drinks inside were expense as hell. To the left is a picture of me with my fourteen dollar margarita. I thought well for that much money it must at least be strong. Nope. I paid that much money for a fucking slushy. I'm pretty sure there wasn't any alcohol in it. But that's okay I just had to drink some more. After hanging out in the beer garden and walking around we decided to go hang out on the grass. One of Kent's buddies got his flask taken away by a power hungry wanna be cop security guard. I think he should have at least dumped it and given it back. But Kent had a bottle of vodka strapped to his leg. Cuz that's how we roll, we keep it classy. As indicated by the next picture. If you look behind Kent (the guy flipping the bird) you can notice a 
girl passed out. I told you we kept it classy. We only watched a couple of the bands play. We saw Megadeath and Godsmack. They put on a pretty good show. But because we were in the pacific nort
hwest it decided to rain. I was surprised at how many people left. Aren't they used to that??? But we decided that we would stay. I mean we payed thirty dollars to a scalper for those tickets. We went back to the beer garden and got drenched. And made it back to see Godsmack play. To the right is me getting soaked and drinking an eight dollar adult beverage.After the concert we stopped at the muckleshoot casino and I won a whole eight dollars. Haley on the other hand lost two hundred and forty so eight is good for me.
The next day it was off to Portland. Haley's friend was having a birthday party and had rented out a bar. There was a Prince tribute band that could actually play and put on a good show. This night was fun but I'm pretty sure that the bartender was making all my drinks with water because by the end of the night I was still sober and that sucked. We stayed the night at her friends house and went back to Ocean Shores on Thursday. The last night there we just hung out and went down to the bar. (When I say the bar I mean the bar. There's only one in the whole town)
After drinking at the bar we went down to the beach. (finally) We had a bonfire and continued to drink some more. I even drank beer which is unusual for me because I can't stand it. A good time was had by all. Friday I made the drive home. (With a slight hangover, damn you beer) It took me eight hours this time because I got stuck in even worse ass traffic in Tacoma. (note to self never go back to Tacoma)
You're probably wondering what Joe did the entire time I was gone. He was on vacation too but he did absolutely nothing the entire time. He sat on his ass and played video games for five days. And miss me of course. He couldn't have been happier. You're also probably wondering why there are no pictures of the ocean from my trip to Ocean Shores. I simply didn't take any. Oh well. But here's another pic of me and Haley.
This past week home has been pretty much the same as usual. Going back to zumba was tough after a week off. This coming week the teacher at Eastpoint will be on vacation so no classes. I think I may die next time I go to class. I have been searching the web for one of my favorite zumba routines but can't find it. I will keep looking though so that I can share it. Till next time!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Zumba ehhh....Zumba ayyy!!!
So as most of you know I have been taking zumba classes. For those of you that don't know what it is allow me to explain. It's kind of a cross between latin dancing with a little bit of aerobics and tae bo thrown in. There's also a lot of Indian/Hindu styles as well. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a workout so much. I loved Tae bo years ago but this is so much better. I also never thought I would enjoy going to any type of workout class. Too many people around can just make me feel self conscious.
I decided to give it a try maybe a few months ago. I had friends that went all the time so I decided to see what all the fuss is about. The first time is hard because you don't really know the moves and typically don't sweat as much. But I kept going and now I am addicted. I started taking classes at Eastpoint church. The classes were at 6pm and 7pm. I would do both classes, which is considered double zumba. I have found that the second hour is almost easier because your body is already warmed up and the endorphins are flowing. You also know the songs that you're going to be doing and have had a chance to practice. Which is good if there is a new song that night.
But sadly they have cut down to one class for the summer. To compensate for us double zumba people she has made the class much harder. We have a new squatting song that is killer. I'll try and describe it the best I can. The hardest part is where you turn and face the right and squat, keep the squatting stance and turn to your left side. But instead of just turning to the left jump to the left side and then squat all the way down. I'm not really sure how many times we do this maybe four or five. The jumping definitely makes it harder but I feel I get better form in my squats. Standing up to pivot around makes the squat a little sloppy. (I have no idea if that makes any sense at all but I tried, if you're still curious I'll just demonstrate it next time)
A friend of mine also started helping teach a different class at University High School. The class is a lot smaller so I like that I have more room but it's not the same as Eastpoint. The energy is just much higher there. And I love that the instructor has a lot of passion for it. She has lost about one hundred and ten pounds. Crazy isn't it?? So I usually get to zumba about 3 or 4 times a week. And it's only 3 dollars a class so that's not too bad.
A few weeks ago I also attempted to go on a bike ride. Now I should explain that I haven't ridden a real bike in at least five years. I wanted to go on the centennial trail but had no bike rack. Instead I decided to bike to my moms house. Before leaving Joe said to me, "Make sure a cop doesn't see you because there's a helmet law now." Well I had no helmet but went anyway. After the ride to my mom's I got online and realized that she lived 3.7 miles from me. On the way back I wanted to try going down more side streets. This was stupid because I somehow managed to get on a street where I ended up on a hill and thought I was going to die. My ass was also starting to hurt. A lot!! That bone just below your butt cheeks, if it has a name I don't know what it is, is what hurt the worse. Every bump felt like hell and I'm pretty sure I yelled "Oww my butt!" every time. Or just "my butt!"
Now as I'm a few blocks from my street I pass a cop. I had no helmet and I was on the wrong side of the street. My first thought was 'oh crap'. Luckily he didn't stop me. I mean I'm sure he has better things to do than stop a fat girl huffing and puffing away on a bike. But I survived and collapsed on my couch shortly after. I've been wanting to ride more but am not really motivated to do so. I need a bike rack as riding with traffic makes me nervous.
Tomorrow I head to other side of the state to visit my friend Haley in Ocean Shores. So that means no zumba until I get back. I'm actually sad that I will miss it. So I leave you with a video of a new song we started doing. I saw this a while ago on youtube and am so happy we're doing it because it super fun. It's easy enough to follow and you can pretty much learn it after one time, but I think it's hard enough to get your heart rate up. Feel free to try it in your living room. Till next time friends.
I decided to give it a try maybe a few months ago. I had friends that went all the time so I decided to see what all the fuss is about. The first time is hard because you don't really know the moves and typically don't sweat as much. But I kept going and now I am addicted. I started taking classes at Eastpoint church. The classes were at 6pm and 7pm. I would do both classes, which is considered double zumba. I have found that the second hour is almost easier because your body is already warmed up and the endorphins are flowing. You also know the songs that you're going to be doing and have had a chance to practice. Which is good if there is a new song that night.
But sadly they have cut down to one class for the summer. To compensate for us double zumba people she has made the class much harder. We have a new squatting song that is killer. I'll try and describe it the best I can. The hardest part is where you turn and face the right and squat, keep the squatting stance and turn to your left side. But instead of just turning to the left jump to the left side and then squat all the way down. I'm not really sure how many times we do this maybe four or five. The jumping definitely makes it harder but I feel I get better form in my squats. Standing up to pivot around makes the squat a little sloppy. (I have no idea if that makes any sense at all but I tried, if you're still curious I'll just demonstrate it next time)
A friend of mine also started helping teach a different class at University High School. The class is a lot smaller so I like that I have more room but it's not the same as Eastpoint. The energy is just much higher there. And I love that the instructor has a lot of passion for it. She has lost about one hundred and ten pounds. Crazy isn't it?? So I usually get to zumba about 3 or 4 times a week. And it's only 3 dollars a class so that's not too bad.
A few weeks ago I also attempted to go on a bike ride. Now I should explain that I haven't ridden a real bike in at least five years. I wanted to go on the centennial trail but had no bike rack. Instead I decided to bike to my moms house. Before leaving Joe said to me, "Make sure a cop doesn't see you because there's a helmet law now." Well I had no helmet but went anyway. After the ride to my mom's I got online and realized that she lived 3.7 miles from me. On the way back I wanted to try going down more side streets. This was stupid because I somehow managed to get on a street where I ended up on a hill and thought I was going to die. My ass was also starting to hurt. A lot!! That bone just below your butt cheeks, if it has a name I don't know what it is, is what hurt the worse. Every bump felt like hell and I'm pretty sure I yelled "Oww my butt!" every time. Or just "my butt!"
Now as I'm a few blocks from my street I pass a cop. I had no helmet and I was on the wrong side of the street. My first thought was 'oh crap'. Luckily he didn't stop me. I mean I'm sure he has better things to do than stop a fat girl huffing and puffing away on a bike. But I survived and collapsed on my couch shortly after. I've been wanting to ride more but am not really motivated to do so. I need a bike rack as riding with traffic makes me nervous.
Tomorrow I head to other side of the state to visit my friend Haley in Ocean Shores. So that means no zumba until I get back. I'm actually sad that I will miss it. So I leave you with a video of a new song we started doing. I saw this a while ago on youtube and am so happy we're doing it because it super fun. It's easy enough to follow and you can pretty much learn it after one time, but I think it's hard enough to get your heart rate up. Feel free to try it in your living room. Till next time friends.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Doot de doo
I've been a little behind on my blogging lately. I just haven't really been in the mood or had much to say. But a few things have happened since last time.
I read the latest Sookie Stackhouse book. It's killing me that I have to wait another year until the next one. I haven't been this into a series since Harry Potter. The tv show Trublood is based on the books. I'm not as big of a fan of the tv show as the books. Mainly because I can't stand the actress they have playing Sookie. Sookie is a barmaid in Louisiana and the narrator so right off the bat we aren't going to get as good a sense of her personality and humor. But she's supposed to be a busty gorgeous blond that would do anything for a friend and does. She also stands up for herself and doesn't take and shit from anyone. Instead they have Anna Paquin playing her with a bad southern accent, flat chest and a crappy dye job that screams the entire time. However I am looking forward to season 4 because Eric the vampire runs down the street naked. Eric is a sexy Viking
vampire, and I for one won't complain about seeing him in the buff. To the left is the actor that plays Eric. Not the best picture of him but it was the best I could find. I was hoping to find one of him shirtless but oh well, back to the books.
I basically wish that the books and the characters in them were real. I want to go Bon Temps Louisiana and go to Merlotte's bar. I want Sookie and Sam to be my friends and I want to have hot vampire sex. (Don't judge me) But alas that world ends when the book does. I'm always a little sad when finishing one of the books.
I've also been watching Ally Mcbeal on netflix. While I find the shows silliness and musical numbers entertaining, the main character drives me nuts. Without all the other fun stuff the show would just flat out suck. Without that every episode is like this. "Hi, I'm Ally Mcebeal and nobody loves me whine whine whine. Why don't I have a man?? Why did he leave me? God I'm hungry maybe I should eat. Whine some more, stutter, stutter, stutter. Why can't I get a man???" Ugh every episode the same thing. And she's so caught up in Billy and I don't know why. He sucks and is a total asshole. I was kind of glad when his character kicked the bucket. I realize that I'm giving it away but the show is two decades old so I don't feel so bad.
My favorite character is Jon Cage. He makes the show in my opinion. I love his Barry White dances and all his silly quirks. And some of the cases that he wins I really am not sure how they win because they're so ridiculous. A lot of the cases involve sexual harassment and lookism. I feel like the show is telling us, yes we judge women harshly than men, looks are important, but women like to be judged on their looks so what's the big deal. It screams chauvinism in every way.
I've still been going to zumba classes and love them! I haven't enjoyed a workout so much since I first started doing tae-bo years ago. I go about 4 times a week and bootcamp on Saturday. I don't like paying the three dollars when I already pay a monthly gym membership but it's worth it I think.
This week is also the last week of school so no more subbing jobs for the summer which sucks but what can you do? I still have Sally's House at least. I'm also very excited to have an actual vacation for the first time ever. I've gone on vacation before obviously but never actually had vacation time. So would just miss work and be screwed when I came home. Getting paid while not being there is a foreign concept to me. That's what happens when you work at shit jobs your entire life. You appreciate the small things that people take for granted. So I'm counting down the days until then. Can't wait! It's also nice to have something to look forward to for once.
I read the latest Sookie Stackhouse book. It's killing me that I have to wait another year until the next one. I haven't been this into a series since Harry Potter. The tv show Trublood is based on the books. I'm not as big of a fan of the tv show as the books. Mainly because I can't stand the actress they have playing Sookie. Sookie is a barmaid in Louisiana and the narrator so right off the bat we aren't going to get as good a sense of her personality and humor. But she's supposed to be a busty gorgeous blond that would do anything for a friend and does. She also stands up for herself and doesn't take and shit from anyone. Instead they have Anna Paquin playing her with a bad southern accent, flat chest and a crappy dye job that screams the entire time. However I am looking forward to season 4 because Eric the vampire runs down the street naked. Eric is a sexy Viking
vampire, and I for one won't complain about seeing him in the buff. To the left is the actor that plays Eric. Not the best picture of him but it was the best I could find. I was hoping to find one of him shirtless but oh well, back to the books.I basically wish that the books and the characters in them were real. I want to go Bon Temps Louisiana and go to Merlotte's bar. I want Sookie and Sam to be my friends and I want to have hot vampire sex. (Don't judge me) But alas that world ends when the book does. I'm always a little sad when finishing one of the books.
I've also been watching Ally Mcbeal on netflix. While I find the shows silliness and musical numbers entertaining, the main character drives me nuts. Without all the other fun stuff the show would just flat out suck. Without that every episode is like this. "Hi, I'm Ally Mcebeal and nobody loves me whine whine whine. Why don't I have a man?? Why did he leave me? God I'm hungry maybe I should eat. Whine some more, stutter, stutter, stutter. Why can't I get a man???" Ugh every episode the same thing. And she's so caught up in Billy and I don't know why. He sucks and is a total asshole. I was kind of glad when his character kicked the bucket. I realize that I'm giving it away but the show is two decades old so I don't feel so bad.
My favorite character is Jon Cage. He makes the show in my opinion. I love his Barry White dances and all his silly quirks. And some of the cases that he wins I really am not sure how they win because they're so ridiculous. A lot of the cases involve sexual harassment and lookism. I feel like the show is telling us, yes we judge women harshly than men, looks are important, but women like to be judged on their looks so what's the big deal. It screams chauvinism in every way.
I've still been going to zumba classes and love them! I haven't enjoyed a workout so much since I first started doing tae-bo years ago. I go about 4 times a week and bootcamp on Saturday. I don't like paying the three dollars when I already pay a monthly gym membership but it's worth it I think.
This week is also the last week of school so no more subbing jobs for the summer which sucks but what can you do? I still have Sally's House at least. I'm also very excited to have an actual vacation for the first time ever. I've gone on vacation before obviously but never actually had vacation time. So would just miss work and be screwed when I came home. Getting paid while not being there is a foreign concept to me. That's what happens when you work at shit jobs your entire life. You appreciate the small things that people take for granted. So I'm counting down the days until then. Can't wait! It's also nice to have something to look forward to for once.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Really??!!!
So as most of you may know this year has started out a little rough. In fact I have given this year the name, "Shitstorm 2011". I think it's quite catchy but you can decide for yourself. This year has included lost jobs, strange illnesses, hospital visits/bills, financial troubles, and dumb landlords. Well a shitstorm wouldn't be complete without a family tragedy thrown in now would it?
My stepdad passed away early Thursday morning. They put him on the ventilator to do the doctors performing a biopsy on his lungs. And as feared he wasn't able to get off the ventilator. I hope you have a tissue handy just in case. The first 5 days on it he was unconscious. Then after that he woke up and was able to write things. My mom wasn't there when he first woke up but all his kids were. The first thing he wrote was "tell Kaye I love her very very much" then, "You kids are the best in the world." After that it got harder to read. The next thing he wrote was something about taking good care of the kids. I think he was trying to say take care of the grandkids. The fourth page was scribbles. The big problem w/him being awake was that he would eventually have a hard time breathing and have to be knocked out again. But he woke up in spurts. And when he did wake up he usually would cry and want to try and write but wasn't able to. After my mom fianlly got there that day he started crying when he saw her walk in the room. At one point I held his hand while sleeping. He woke up and started crying when he saw me too. (I told you, you may need a tissue) The next day he was only able to write one word which was "dog". I think he wanted to see his dog before he went.
But what led to the decision to take off the ventialtor was even when he was asleep he was having trouble breathing. Ultimately, they had to decide that it was better for him to go peacefully. My mom called me about 10:45 pm on Wednesday night to say they were taking him off and going to let him pass. Joe and I drove down to the hospital. My mom, step siblings and grandparents were there. They basically sedated him enough that he was asleep and wouldn't wake up once the ventialtor was pulled out. We all thought it would take about 5 or 10 minutes for him to pass but it took over an hour. He basically layed there sleeping and trying to breathe. Then his heart slowly stopped beating. Talk about an emotional week.
My Mom and Rick were married about 17 years. Even now it's just weird that he's gone. I knew he was sick and probably wouldn't live to be 90 or anything, but I thought he at least had a few years left in him. I thought he would at least see some of his grandkids become teenagers. The worst part of it was seeing my mom so sad. I think she's doing better now because he's not suffering anymore and she did have time to prepare herself. My niece Quianah (pronounced Kiana, or just kiki) is four years old and was Grandpa's girl. The next day everyone was at my mom's house and in the kitchen she said to herself "I want my Papa." Later that day she started crying and told my mom how much she missed him. That also tore my heart out because she's such a sweet little girl and has such a sweet voice. Oh and the next day she said that she wants to die so she can see Papa.
His services will be later this week. I'm grateful that my mom has a lot of support as well. RIP Rick, we will miss you.
My stepdad passed away early Thursday morning. They put him on the ventilator to do the doctors performing a biopsy on his lungs. And as feared he wasn't able to get off the ventilator. I hope you have a tissue handy just in case. The first 5 days on it he was unconscious. Then after that he woke up and was able to write things. My mom wasn't there when he first woke up but all his kids were. The first thing he wrote was "tell Kaye I love her very very much" then, "You kids are the best in the world." After that it got harder to read. The next thing he wrote was something about taking good care of the kids. I think he was trying to say take care of the grandkids. The fourth page was scribbles. The big problem w/him being awake was that he would eventually have a hard time breathing and have to be knocked out again. But he woke up in spurts. And when he did wake up he usually would cry and want to try and write but wasn't able to. After my mom fianlly got there that day he started crying when he saw her walk in the room. At one point I held his hand while sleeping. He woke up and started crying when he saw me too. (I told you, you may need a tissue) The next day he was only able to write one word which was "dog". I think he wanted to see his dog before he went.
But what led to the decision to take off the ventialtor was even when he was asleep he was having trouble breathing. Ultimately, they had to decide that it was better for him to go peacefully. My mom called me about 10:45 pm on Wednesday night to say they were taking him off and going to let him pass. Joe and I drove down to the hospital. My mom, step siblings and grandparents were there. They basically sedated him enough that he was asleep and wouldn't wake up once the ventialtor was pulled out. We all thought it would take about 5 or 10 minutes for him to pass but it took over an hour. He basically layed there sleeping and trying to breathe. Then his heart slowly stopped beating. Talk about an emotional week.
My Mom and Rick were married about 17 years. Even now it's just weird that he's gone. I knew he was sick and probably wouldn't live to be 90 or anything, but I thought he at least had a few years left in him. I thought he would at least see some of his grandkids become teenagers. The worst part of it was seeing my mom so sad. I think she's doing better now because he's not suffering anymore and she did have time to prepare herself. My niece Quianah (pronounced Kiana, or just kiki) is four years old and was Grandpa's girl. The next day everyone was at my mom's house and in the kitchen she said to herself "I want my Papa." Later that day she started crying and told my mom how much she missed him. That also tore my heart out because she's such a sweet little girl and has such a sweet voice. Oh and the next day she said that she wants to die so she can see Papa.
His services will be later this week. I'm grateful that my mom has a lot of support as well. RIP Rick, we will miss you.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I Can't Think of a Title.
I realize lately that I have been a Debbie Downer but am really trying to get out of the rut. But life seems to like to be difficult lately.
This last week has been stressful. My stepdad, Rick has been in the hospital since last Wednesday and was moved to the ICU the next day. Hospital stays aren't unusual for him but going to the ICU is. He basically can't breathe without the oxygen. He also has something on his lungs that has a crystal like appearance on his X-ray. To know what he has and somewhat how to treat it they need to do a biopsy. The problem is that they didn't think he was strong enough to survive it. They could put him on a ventilator but he wouldn't be able to talk or anything. There is also the risk of him not being strong enough to come off of it once he is on it. And you can't live on a ventilator forever so eventually someone will have to make some big decisions if you know what I mean. I talked to my mom today and she said he was doing a little better but no real news on if this biopsy was happening or when.
I hate seeing my mom stressed out and/or upset. But I think for the most part she is doing fairly well. Other than a few crying phone calls she has held it together fairly well. My Grandpa Jerry also had a hospital stay last week for some chest pains but got to go home the next day and is doing fine. But not really what my mom needed on top of everything else. I have been going over to their house to let the dogs out and spend some time with them. The dogs are used to having someone home all day with them so they are missing their Daddy lots. My mom told me she was showing Rick some photos of the kids and there was some pictures of Sadie, his dog. He got emotional as he is also missing his dog. I would include a picture but am at work and don't have access to one.
I really did have lots of funny things to write about but they just don't feel approprite right now. I have been watching Ally Mcbeal on netflix and had a whole critique I wanted to write but it will have to wait. I also made my first attempt at planting flowers last weekend so we'll see how that venture turns out. Oh and I'm still pretty much a red hot mess most of the day but am working on it. Umm let's see...I am finally getting a radio in my car after about three years of driving around with nothing so I'm pretty excited about it.
Alright, so I'm about to totally switch gears here. Out of nowhere (well within the last couple of months) I have suddenly developed baby fever. And I am the last person to think I would suffer from that. This also couldn't come at a more inconvenient time. I know that everyone says that if you wait till you can afford them then you will never have them. But we are broke as shit and it would just be stupid to have a child that we can't provide for. And when Joe goes back to school he won't have time for a new baby or be able to miss any time. But I also wanted to have at least one by the time I was thirty. And Joe will be in school about three years. I'm twenty-seven now and will be thirty in three years. It just kind of snuck up on me this dreaded thirtieth birthday. Part of me feels like we should just do it because there never really is a perfect time and you can't plan for everything but all logic tells me that is stupid. But my heart is telling me something else. Unfortunately, my heart isn't a good enough of a reason to convince Joe. Which is probably a good thing I guess. I also don't want to wait too long and not be able to have them or be an "old" mom. Lately it's all I think about and it's making me crazy. Maybe if I went back to working 60 hours a week and feeling like a zombie all the time these feelings will just go away. Or I could just eat these feelings away like I do with every other bad feeling...oh wait that's right I already do. Or at least the last couple days.
Sorry if I don't make much sense or have horrible proofreading but it is 4Am and no ones brain works the best at that time.
This last week has been stressful. My stepdad, Rick has been in the hospital since last Wednesday and was moved to the ICU the next day. Hospital stays aren't unusual for him but going to the ICU is. He basically can't breathe without the oxygen. He also has something on his lungs that has a crystal like appearance on his X-ray. To know what he has and somewhat how to treat it they need to do a biopsy. The problem is that they didn't think he was strong enough to survive it. They could put him on a ventilator but he wouldn't be able to talk or anything. There is also the risk of him not being strong enough to come off of it once he is on it. And you can't live on a ventilator forever so eventually someone will have to make some big decisions if you know what I mean. I talked to my mom today and she said he was doing a little better but no real news on if this biopsy was happening or when.
I hate seeing my mom stressed out and/or upset. But I think for the most part she is doing fairly well. Other than a few crying phone calls she has held it together fairly well. My Grandpa Jerry also had a hospital stay last week for some chest pains but got to go home the next day and is doing fine. But not really what my mom needed on top of everything else. I have been going over to their house to let the dogs out and spend some time with them. The dogs are used to having someone home all day with them so they are missing their Daddy lots. My mom told me she was showing Rick some photos of the kids and there was some pictures of Sadie, his dog. He got emotional as he is also missing his dog. I would include a picture but am at work and don't have access to one.
I really did have lots of funny things to write about but they just don't feel approprite right now. I have been watching Ally Mcbeal on netflix and had a whole critique I wanted to write but it will have to wait. I also made my first attempt at planting flowers last weekend so we'll see how that venture turns out. Oh and I'm still pretty much a red hot mess most of the day but am working on it. Umm let's see...I am finally getting a radio in my car after about three years of driving around with nothing so I'm pretty excited about it.
Alright, so I'm about to totally switch gears here. Out of nowhere (well within the last couple of months) I have suddenly developed baby fever. And I am the last person to think I would suffer from that. This also couldn't come at a more inconvenient time. I know that everyone says that if you wait till you can afford them then you will never have them. But we are broke as shit and it would just be stupid to have a child that we can't provide for. And when Joe goes back to school he won't have time for a new baby or be able to miss any time. But I also wanted to have at least one by the time I was thirty. And Joe will be in school about three years. I'm twenty-seven now and will be thirty in three years. It just kind of snuck up on me this dreaded thirtieth birthday. Part of me feels like we should just do it because there never really is a perfect time and you can't plan for everything but all logic tells me that is stupid. But my heart is telling me something else. Unfortunately, my heart isn't a good enough of a reason to convince Joe. Which is probably a good thing I guess. I also don't want to wait too long and not be able to have them or be an "old" mom. Lately it's all I think about and it's making me crazy. Maybe if I went back to working 60 hours a week and feeling like a zombie all the time these feelings will just go away. Or I could just eat these feelings away like I do with every other bad feeling...oh wait that's right I already do. Or at least the last couple days.
Sorry if I don't make much sense or have horrible proofreading but it is 4Am and no ones brain works the best at that time.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Is That all There is?
Not a whole lot has happened since my last post. I had a killer sinus infection that kicked my ass and put me out of commission for about two weeks. I can actually sleep and breathe again. The sucky part was not being able do anything, such as going to zumba class. I would have gone tonight but I had to go to a staff meeting. Our staff meetings at Sally's are always the last Tuesday of the month. I also somehow threw my back out for a couple days. The sad part is I'm really not sure how I did it. I just got up off the couch at work and then had pain in my lower back and had a hard time standing and walking. But it only lasted a day and a half. While these things aren't really serious by any means I just feel like it was another set back I could have lived without.
Joe will hopefully start school in the fall. We're both hoping that he will qualify for financial aid this time around. When he did the paperwork I had a whoping nine dollars in my checking account so I'm hoping that will be a good thing when looking at his paperwork. While we both think it will be a good thing in the long run we're not looking forward to never really seeing each other and the toll it will take on his sleep. Joe already has a college degree but obviously isn't using it. He has a teaching degree but realized he didn't want to be a teacher. A few years ago he tried to return to school but took time off as he ended up in the ER with chest pains from anxiety.
On another subject, can I just say that I get pissed off everytime my student loan bill comes in the mail. And I feel like that damn thing never seems to get smaller. If I could do anything over it would be college. I wouldn't have gone until I actually know what I wanted to do. Or I would have gone away to a four year college in another city if I had the priveledge of my parents paying for it all. While my Dad payed for his share of my tuition I also had to pay my own way for quite a bit at SCC. The whole experience is way different when you actually get to go away and just be a student somewhere. Wheras, I had to work all the time at a shitty job that I hated then somehow try to be a student too. I can't say how much I really learned because I had to bullshit my way through quite a bit just to get by. And that's just what I did; I barely scraped by. I couldn't work reduced hours because I had to put a portion of every paycheck away to pay for tuition and books. At least if I had gone away I would have gotten the whole experience and had a lot more fun. All I really have to show for it is a uselesss degree that even if I went and got a masters degree I would make like two more dollars an hour.
I guess that this isn't where I saw myself at twenty-seven years old. I figured I would finally have a car that wasn't shit on wheels, own a home, and have a decent job. And I never thought that I would be this weight ever again. However, I never thought I would be married so I guess it's a good compromise. And I would rather have Joe than all those things but living pay check to paycheck is starting to get old. Not that he or I were ever rich before but at least we didn't need help paying bills.
I also have extreme guilt getting help. Mainly because I've always been the one that never needed help because I was the responsible one. And I can't help but think where we would be without help. Homeless probably, or with a credit score in toilet. I would like to take this time to recognize my family also. If I hadn't had their support during college I would have just dropped out because I know I never would have made it. I almost did drop out quite a few times. (Although I'm not convinced that I shouldn't have) If I had become a Subway manager I would be making at waaay more money. But at least I still have my soul and didn't have to sell it, which is what I would have had to do there.
I'm just feeling very unsatisified with life. I feel like every morning I start out on a conquest but it just ends in failure by the time I go to bed. I know I have a lot of great things but I guess I'm just envious of all the things I don't have. One of my favorite quotes from "As Good as it Gets" (great movie if you haven't seen it) goes like this. "You're not pissed off that you had it so bad, you're just pissed that others had it so good." Or something to that effect. Sorry to be a Debbie downer but I just don't have any stories about rainbows and ponies or potato salad right now.
Joe will hopefully start school in the fall. We're both hoping that he will qualify for financial aid this time around. When he did the paperwork I had a whoping nine dollars in my checking account so I'm hoping that will be a good thing when looking at his paperwork. While we both think it will be a good thing in the long run we're not looking forward to never really seeing each other and the toll it will take on his sleep. Joe already has a college degree but obviously isn't using it. He has a teaching degree but realized he didn't want to be a teacher. A few years ago he tried to return to school but took time off as he ended up in the ER with chest pains from anxiety.
On another subject, can I just say that I get pissed off everytime my student loan bill comes in the mail. And I feel like that damn thing never seems to get smaller. If I could do anything over it would be college. I wouldn't have gone until I actually know what I wanted to do. Or I would have gone away to a four year college in another city if I had the priveledge of my parents paying for it all. While my Dad payed for his share of my tuition I also had to pay my own way for quite a bit at SCC. The whole experience is way different when you actually get to go away and just be a student somewhere. Wheras, I had to work all the time at a shitty job that I hated then somehow try to be a student too. I can't say how much I really learned because I had to bullshit my way through quite a bit just to get by. And that's just what I did; I barely scraped by. I couldn't work reduced hours because I had to put a portion of every paycheck away to pay for tuition and books. At least if I had gone away I would have gotten the whole experience and had a lot more fun. All I really have to show for it is a uselesss degree that even if I went and got a masters degree I would make like two more dollars an hour.
I guess that this isn't where I saw myself at twenty-seven years old. I figured I would finally have a car that wasn't shit on wheels, own a home, and have a decent job. And I never thought that I would be this weight ever again. However, I never thought I would be married so I guess it's a good compromise. And I would rather have Joe than all those things but living pay check to paycheck is starting to get old. Not that he or I were ever rich before but at least we didn't need help paying bills.
I also have extreme guilt getting help. Mainly because I've always been the one that never needed help because I was the responsible one. And I can't help but think where we would be without help. Homeless probably, or with a credit score in toilet. I would like to take this time to recognize my family also. If I hadn't had their support during college I would have just dropped out because I know I never would have made it. I almost did drop out quite a few times. (Although I'm not convinced that I shouldn't have) If I had become a Subway manager I would be making at waaay more money. But at least I still have my soul and didn't have to sell it, which is what I would have had to do there.
I'm just feeling very unsatisified with life. I feel like every morning I start out on a conquest but it just ends in failure by the time I go to bed. I know I have a lot of great things but I guess I'm just envious of all the things I don't have. One of my favorite quotes from "As Good as it Gets" (great movie if you haven't seen it) goes like this. "You're not pissed off that you had it so bad, you're just pissed that others had it so good." Or something to that effect. Sorry to be a Debbie downer but I just don't have any stories about rainbows and ponies or potato salad right now.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
More Updates
I'm happy to say that moving went fairly well and we are all unpacked. Our new washer and dryer got here on Thursday. Well new to us anyway. My grandpa bought it used for us and we are happy to have it. Going to my moms for laundry was a giant pain in the ass. I'm undecided if I want to try and plant flowers or not. I'm not much of a green thumb and pretty much kill everything. And I really don't care for yard work. I mean I killed a cactus once for God's sake. Apparently you need to bring it inside once it starts to frost outside.
I'm also proud to report that I got a new job. It's a subbing position for Central Valley School District. It's very part time but it's a foot in the door and more money so that's a good thing. I'll be going to all the different schools filling in for staff. No actual teaching or anything like that. My first assignment was a week ago. I worked as a lunch supervisor. I basically walked around and stared at kids eat lunch and made sure they didn't kill each other. I'd say it was a success. I'll still be keeping my Sally's House job as well. The old saying it's not what you know, it's who you know is very true. Especially in this town. My aunt Kari got me the job. All I had to do was turn in the application packet. When I thought I was going to my interview I was actually filling out all my paperwork and got my badge picture taken. It's not my ideal job but I'll take it. Funny how I really don't care for children but yet I keep getting jobs working with them.
One good thing about getting this job is no more unemployment. I'm tired of filing my claims and dealing with them. Planned Parenthood also tried to appeal the states original decision so they wouldn't have to pay. Which was really annoying and nerve wracking at the same time. If I lost I would have to pay back all the money they've been giving me. The hearing was over the phone at 7:30 AM. I did have a witness who worked w/me so I wasn't totally screwed. But it was horrible experience. The judge was an asshole and acted like I was a screw up and was way below him. Planned Parenthood had their representative go over every single mistake I ever made while training to try and make me look bad. And by the way; it's totally unfair that they get a representative and I get no one. At one point the judge even asked me, "I mean how hard is it???" "That doesn't sound that difficult." Even my old boss sounded offended and interjected that it was not as easy as it sounds and there was lots to do. I basically felt like a deer in headlights then was run over by the truck several times. But I did win since there was no misconduct involved. (Duh!!!!!!!) Which is the only reason someone can't collect unemployment, so I don't really know why they wasted their time with the appeal.
I was went back to the Doctor last week. I had a breathing test and another chest x-ray. No news really. My test were normal and my chest x-ray was the same. I go back in three months for another one just to make sure that none of the lymph nodes grow drastically or anything. I still haven't heard back on getting my hospital bill reduced so I'm hoping that is a good sign.
I have also started doing Zumba classes. It's a great workout and totally fun. It's three dollars a class or five if you do double classes. A couple of my friends started going so I decided to give it a try. Some of the dances are a little harder than others but it's still a good time. I have also started to weight watchers again. It's pretty much the only diet that ever really works for me. I just don't do well eating weird gross food that someone else tells me to eat and when. I have lost three pounds already and look forward to my pants fitting again.
Joe is also doing weight watchers with me. There are some good and bad things about us doing it together. It's good that we are both trying to do the same thing and not eat crap in front of the other person. However, he gets way more points than I do and always loses more weight. Which is crap. Stupid female metabolism. I hope to say that it's going well in future posts. That's pretty much it for now.
I'm also proud to report that I got a new job. It's a subbing position for Central Valley School District. It's very part time but it's a foot in the door and more money so that's a good thing. I'll be going to all the different schools filling in for staff. No actual teaching or anything like that. My first assignment was a week ago. I worked as a lunch supervisor. I basically walked around and stared at kids eat lunch and made sure they didn't kill each other. I'd say it was a success. I'll still be keeping my Sally's House job as well. The old saying it's not what you know, it's who you know is very true. Especially in this town. My aunt Kari got me the job. All I had to do was turn in the application packet. When I thought I was going to my interview I was actually filling out all my paperwork and got my badge picture taken. It's not my ideal job but I'll take it. Funny how I really don't care for children but yet I keep getting jobs working with them.
One good thing about getting this job is no more unemployment. I'm tired of filing my claims and dealing with them. Planned Parenthood also tried to appeal the states original decision so they wouldn't have to pay. Which was really annoying and nerve wracking at the same time. If I lost I would have to pay back all the money they've been giving me. The hearing was over the phone at 7:30 AM. I did have a witness who worked w/me so I wasn't totally screwed. But it was horrible experience. The judge was an asshole and acted like I was a screw up and was way below him. Planned Parenthood had their representative go over every single mistake I ever made while training to try and make me look bad. And by the way; it's totally unfair that they get a representative and I get no one. At one point the judge even asked me, "I mean how hard is it???" "That doesn't sound that difficult." Even my old boss sounded offended and interjected that it was not as easy as it sounds and there was lots to do. I basically felt like a deer in headlights then was run over by the truck several times. But I did win since there was no misconduct involved. (Duh!!!!!!!) Which is the only reason someone can't collect unemployment, so I don't really know why they wasted their time with the appeal.
I was went back to the Doctor last week. I had a breathing test and another chest x-ray. No news really. My test were normal and my chest x-ray was the same. I go back in three months for another one just to make sure that none of the lymph nodes grow drastically or anything. I still haven't heard back on getting my hospital bill reduced so I'm hoping that is a good sign.
I have also started doing Zumba classes. It's a great workout and totally fun. It's three dollars a class or five if you do double classes. A couple of my friends started going so I decided to give it a try. Some of the dances are a little harder than others but it's still a good time. I have also started to weight watchers again. It's pretty much the only diet that ever really works for me. I just don't do well eating weird gross food that someone else tells me to eat and when. I have lost three pounds already and look forward to my pants fitting again.
Joe is also doing weight watchers with me. There are some good and bad things about us doing it together. It's good that we are both trying to do the same thing and not eat crap in front of the other person. However, he gets way more points than I do and always loses more weight. Which is crap. Stupid female metabolism. I hope to say that it's going well in future posts. That's pretty much it for now.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Moving...again
Well I seem to be keeping with my new tradition of moving every year. And it's starting out as fun as moving can be. We got the approval earlier this week. We are moving into a two bedroom duplex just a few blocks away. At least it will be a short drive. It's not horribly big but it is less rent and more space and a yard. I'd like to think of it as being just a little bit ghetto. Not all the way. No one has furniture on their porch anywhere on the street or anything. I think I've done a whooping ten boxes or so packed for the whole week. Procrastination has always been my strong point after all.
Being able to move has been the closest thing to a break I've gotten in months. After losing my full time job I was approved for unemployment. I get a whole thirty dollars every week. It's not much but I'll take it. Well my former employer has decided to appeal the states decision simply because they don't want to pay. I hear this is a common thing mainly because whenever a former employee files for unemployment it makes their insurance go up. Call me selfish if you want to but I care about me more then their damn insurance rates. I can still collect but will have to go to a hearing and plead my case again. But if I lose then I get to pay all that money back oh joy!!
My feet are doing better so that is good news. They slowly went back to their original size. I go back for another chest x-ray in April. But unfortunately I have medical bills up the ass. They haven't been huge but I'm tired of them coming in the mail. It makes a difference in the whole seven hundred dollars a month I earn working part time. The worst one was from Sacred Heart. It was almost three thousand dollars. I called to say I needed to make payments and the lady on the phone asks if I will be able to pay it off in two months. After I stopped laughing I told her no I could not. So I filled out an application to get it reduced so keep your fingers crossed.
I'm mainly writing this to not have to pack. I just haven't been in the blogging kind of mood lately. And I also don't have much to talk about. My existence has been pretty lame. The most exciting thing I do is watch the cats wrestle. And keep up on my Netflix. I'm onto season 5 of Roseanne now. And I must be on 5 or 6 of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I also just completed season 4 of Dexter and can't stand the wait for 5 to come out on Dvd. The New Sookie Stackhouse book comes out in May. It was supposed to be in February but they lied. It's the series that the show Trubloood is based on. I highly recommend it. I wasn't into a series so much since Harry Potter. They should all be in paperback so get out there and read!!! You won't regret it!! Oh and the author is Charlaine Harries by the way.
Okay that's it for now. Back to packing for a little while until work tonight. My dad is helping me get rid of some junk tomorrow thankfully. Less crap to move around on moving day. No random photo but next time. Live long and prosper friends.
Being able to move has been the closest thing to a break I've gotten in months. After losing my full time job I was approved for unemployment. I get a whole thirty dollars every week. It's not much but I'll take it. Well my former employer has decided to appeal the states decision simply because they don't want to pay. I hear this is a common thing mainly because whenever a former employee files for unemployment it makes their insurance go up. Call me selfish if you want to but I care about me more then their damn insurance rates. I can still collect but will have to go to a hearing and plead my case again. But if I lose then I get to pay all that money back oh joy!!
My feet are doing better so that is good news. They slowly went back to their original size. I go back for another chest x-ray in April. But unfortunately I have medical bills up the ass. They haven't been huge but I'm tired of them coming in the mail. It makes a difference in the whole seven hundred dollars a month I earn working part time. The worst one was from Sacred Heart. It was almost three thousand dollars. I called to say I needed to make payments and the lady on the phone asks if I will be able to pay it off in two months. After I stopped laughing I told her no I could not. So I filled out an application to get it reduced so keep your fingers crossed.
I'm mainly writing this to not have to pack. I just haven't been in the blogging kind of mood lately. And I also don't have much to talk about. My existence has been pretty lame. The most exciting thing I do is watch the cats wrestle. And keep up on my Netflix. I'm onto season 5 of Roseanne now. And I must be on 5 or 6 of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I also just completed season 4 of Dexter and can't stand the wait for 5 to come out on Dvd. The New Sookie Stackhouse book comes out in May. It was supposed to be in February but they lied. It's the series that the show Trubloood is based on. I highly recommend it. I wasn't into a series so much since Harry Potter. They should all be in paperback so get out there and read!!! You won't regret it!! Oh and the author is Charlaine Harries by the way.
Okay that's it for now. Back to packing for a little while until work tonight. My dad is helping me get rid of some junk tomorrow thankfully. Less crap to move around on moving day. No random photo but next time. Live long and prosper friends.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Poopshoes
Over the last few weeks I've been wanting to blog more but just haven't been able to find the energy. I have some good news but mainly not so good news I guess. Where to even start I don't know. I'll try to keep my rambling to a minimum but I make no promises.
The good news is that I was able to get added to Joe's insurance and get my cat scan done. I think it was kind of a waste of time but I'm not a doctor. They basically just got a closer look at the lympnodes on my lungs that they already knew were there. I was told that I would need a biopsy so the internal medicine doctor I was referred to referred me to a lung specialist. He however didn't seem to think that there was a big rush for it. Or to do anything really. Since most symptoms of sarcodoises go away on their own he didn't seem to think I needed medication. I kind of agree since it has slowly gotten better. Try telling that to my mother who has been up my ass to make another appointment. She means well but has been making me crazy. Because she seems to think that she knows more than the doctor.
The party didn't last after getting insurance since they didn't inform Joe that it would cost him a little over $400 a month to insure me. Now Joe makes $12/hr so that's like a quarter of his paycheck. I went from working 60 hours a week to 19. So our income has gone way down into the shitter. So that's been depressing since we had a lot of plans that won't happen now. One is moving to a bigger place. So all my hard work from working 2 jobs for 8 months was basically for nothing. No new car, no new place. I was really looking forward to going car shopping but after i got laid off that went out the window. So did moving, buying a new tv, fixing Joes broken windshield and various other things that we wanted to do.
I've always been a workaholic so not being able to work full time sucks. And having bad feet and not being able to walk around has been even worse. I basically spent all day trying hard not to feel to sorry for myself because I know it won't change anything but it's been a struggle. I also get bored so I want to eat all day. And when I'm not eating I'm thinking about it. It's quite sad really. I'm ashamed to admit that I bought a box of those raspberry filled powder doughnuts (my nemesis for years) and it didn't stand a chance. I've ate a whole box by myself before but over a couple days. This thing was gone in hours. And I hid the box in the bottom of the garbage to hide the evidence. What kind of a normal person does that?? But I must admit they were damn tasty. And worth every last stupid calorie.
Oh and the transport department where Joe works in the hospital may have to do some layoffs. There's even a rumor going around that they may cut the department all together. I don't believe that will happen and neither does Joe.
I was approve for unemployment. But it's been a god damn joke. I've received about $135 from them so far. Oh and I had to pay them $26 dollars. Apparently going into the hospital makes you unavailable for work so they think I was overpaid. Those fuckers. Never mind the fact that it was a day that I don't normally even work. And if I was in the hospital wouldn't I need that damn $26 ???
In case you couldn't tell I've kind of been a red hot mess. And I don't see a sign of stopping anytime soon. I've been looking for a job but it's not a promising market. The most pathetic part is that I actually enjoy my job. But I need full time and more money. I've also been having this weird urge to have a baby even though I said I didn't want one right away. And I still don't but we were hoping maybe next year. But at this rate we will never be able to afford children, and I'll never be stable enough to handle it.
But the saddest thing of all is that my biggest accomplishment sine getting laid off is moving up 5 levels in farmville and mastering about ten or so crops. Ugh. What the hell has happened to my life??
The good news is that I was able to get added to Joe's insurance and get my cat scan done. I think it was kind of a waste of time but I'm not a doctor. They basically just got a closer look at the lympnodes on my lungs that they already knew were there. I was told that I would need a biopsy so the internal medicine doctor I was referred to referred me to a lung specialist. He however didn't seem to think that there was a big rush for it. Or to do anything really. Since most symptoms of sarcodoises go away on their own he didn't seem to think I needed medication. I kind of agree since it has slowly gotten better. Try telling that to my mother who has been up my ass to make another appointment. She means well but has been making me crazy. Because she seems to think that she knows more than the doctor.
The party didn't last after getting insurance since they didn't inform Joe that it would cost him a little over $400 a month to insure me. Now Joe makes $12/hr so that's like a quarter of his paycheck. I went from working 60 hours a week to 19. So our income has gone way down into the shitter. So that's been depressing since we had a lot of plans that won't happen now. One is moving to a bigger place. So all my hard work from working 2 jobs for 8 months was basically for nothing. No new car, no new place. I was really looking forward to going car shopping but after i got laid off that went out the window. So did moving, buying a new tv, fixing Joes broken windshield and various other things that we wanted to do.
I've always been a workaholic so not being able to work full time sucks. And having bad feet and not being able to walk around has been even worse. I basically spent all day trying hard not to feel to sorry for myself because I know it won't change anything but it's been a struggle. I also get bored so I want to eat all day. And when I'm not eating I'm thinking about it. It's quite sad really. I'm ashamed to admit that I bought a box of those raspberry filled powder doughnuts (my nemesis for years) and it didn't stand a chance. I've ate a whole box by myself before but over a couple days. This thing was gone in hours. And I hid the box in the bottom of the garbage to hide the evidence. What kind of a normal person does that?? But I must admit they were damn tasty. And worth every last stupid calorie.
Oh and the transport department where Joe works in the hospital may have to do some layoffs. There's even a rumor going around that they may cut the department all together. I don't believe that will happen and neither does Joe.
I was approve for unemployment. But it's been a god damn joke. I've received about $135 from them so far. Oh and I had to pay them $26 dollars. Apparently going into the hospital makes you unavailable for work so they think I was overpaid. Those fuckers. Never mind the fact that it was a day that I don't normally even work. And if I was in the hospital wouldn't I need that damn $26 ???
In case you couldn't tell I've kind of been a red hot mess. And I don't see a sign of stopping anytime soon. I've been looking for a job but it's not a promising market. The most pathetic part is that I actually enjoy my job. But I need full time and more money. I've also been having this weird urge to have a baby even though I said I didn't want one right away. And I still don't but we were hoping maybe next year. But at this rate we will never be able to afford children, and I'll never be stable enough to handle it.
But the saddest thing of all is that my biggest accomplishment sine getting laid off is moving up 5 levels in farmville and mastering about ten or so crops. Ugh. What the hell has happened to my life??
Monday, January 31, 2011
2011 thus far...
Alright so here we are. So much has happened it's insane. I guess I should go back to the beginning or begginningish I should say. What I'm getting at is that this year is starting out in suckville.
Long story short; I spent two nights there and they still aren't even sure what's wrong with me. The worst part was the IV. God I shudder still thinking about it. You see I was blessed with tiny little roling veins so it always takes forever for them to get a needle in. After three pokes they did it. Unfortunately, it was right at the bend in my arm behind the elbow. So I basically couldn't bend my arm for two and a half days. It still is sore and feels weird actually bending it. I was pumped full of liquid so I wouldn't get dehydrated as well as a bunch of antibiotics in case of infection. Doesn't sound too bad except they did tons of bloodwork w
hich was awful everytime due to my stupid veins. But the worst part was how much I had to pee. Which on it's own is not so bad. But with sore feet that hurt to walk and having to wheel the IV around everytime it was old real quick.
About 3 weeks ago I was laid off from my full time job. Which was kind of a relief in a way simply because things there weren't going as well as when I started. They took me off of recall because they didn't think they needed someone to do it everyday. I was upset because I felt like I did most of the work and the reason they hired me was because they were so far behind. They had already let go of a few people a few weeks before me and I was also the bottom of the totempole, so it wasn't entirely surprising. But I had a few days of sulking and drinking too much wine. But then I was kind of glad to not be stressed or deal with their crap. I've applied for unemployment but haven't heard back on anything yet.
I was also starting to get back into my workout routine and feling good about it. Well that has also come to a standstill. Two weeks ago my right ankle started hurting. I didn't think a whole lot of it. But then it slowly started getting worse and started swelling up. After a week of limping around I went to the doctor. They thought it might be an infection or possibly gout. Well after blood test and x rays they still didn't know. I was told to stay off of it and take the antibioics they gave me. I was also told to go to the ER if it spread or got worse. I should also explain that it spread from my ankle to my foot. It was red and hot which is what led them to think it was gout. But the blood test showed that it wasn't.
I spent two days on my couch with no improvements. In fact my other ankle started to hurt and swell up too. Not nearly as bad as the right though thank goodness. The picture below was taken on Thursday. On Saturday morning after I got off work it was even bigger and hurt like a bitch. So we went to the er. I had started to refer to it as my ogre foot. Well after hours in the ER they too were stumped. They checked for liquid thinking it might be water retention, did ultrasounds to check for bloodclots and had no luck. It was then decided that I would be admitted.
Long story short; I spent two nights there and they still aren't even sure what's wrong with me. The worst part was the IV. God I shudder still thinking about it. You see I was blessed with tiny little roling veins so it always takes forever for them to get a needle in. After three pokes they did it. Unfortunately, it was right at the bend in my arm behind the elbow. So I basically couldn't bend my arm for two and a half days. It still is sore and feels weird actually bending it. I was pumped full of liquid so I wouldn't get dehydrated as well as a bunch of antibiotics in case of infection. Doesn't sound too bad except they did tons of bloodwork w
hich was awful everytime due to my stupid veins. But the worst part was how much I had to pee. Which on it's own is not so bad. But with sore feet that hurt to walk and having to wheel the IV around everytime it was old real quick.They also did a chest x-ray s to rule out a disease called sarcoidosis. Well wouldn't you know it they found lymnodes on my xray around my heart and lungs.This is also a symptom of the disease. Which I really wish they would have shown me just cause that sounds weird. So it was between infecion and that. They still don't know but I need to have a cat scan done to get more info.
Now going back to earlier where I lost my job, that also means no more insurance. Luckily I was insured till the end of the month which is today. So I don't know how I'm going to pay for my cat scan tomorrow. Or anything else. Joe's trying to get me added to insurance so we'll see what happens. Needless to say I've been totally stressed out. Losing a job with rockin benfits sucks as it is but then to have some mysterious fat foot thing happen and end up in the hospital is just bad timing. I'm still working at Sally's House but only 3 nights a week. And now I can't even go to that job because it still hurts to walk. If I'm up too long they are red and puffy again and hurt like hell. Joe had the weekend off so he could be there to basically be my right arm the whole time. They gave him the day off today to take me home and help me. Tomorrow he goes back and I'm on my own. I called in to work today and most likely will have to tomorrow as well.
On a side note Joe got me Just Dance 2 for my birthday and I haven't been able to play it. Everytime I see the commercial I get sad because it's here and yet so far away. Well I'm off to do more sitting around and trying not to feel too sorry for myself. The pictures are from my phone so the quality isn't great. Sorry for not going into more detail about the sarcodoises thing either I'm just not up for typing all that too. And I don't know a whole lot yet anyway so till next time friends.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Updates
Ok, so now that I actually have some time and a little energy I'll give everyone a real update.
Mona was fixed at Petsavers about a month ago. It was cheap but not really worth it. Her wound got infected and then she got a respiratory infection. Her sneezing has stopped and she's doing okay. But now Lisa has caught the infection and has been wheezing a lot and sneezing. All the money we saved by going to petsavers we spent on other visits to our vet and for the damn antibiotics. Let's hope Lisa is feeling better soon. Mona needs her big sister to play with. She just gets into everythign right now and runs around like a little crackhead.
Joe is doing well. Working hard at the Hospital. He still is talking about going back to school for Radiology but we'll see if that happens. A little over a month ago I came home from work and he had surprised me by making me dinner. He also bought a tablecloth and centerpiece and candles, made a romantic song cd and wore a tie. Totally cute and sweet. I should also explain that we don't use our kitchen table. It's purpose is to hold junk that has no other place. So he had to move the piles of crap and actually move the table into the middle of the kitchen. I am very blessed to have one of the last decent men on earth. (Even though he has yet to read this blog...ever!)
Anyway, as for me I have some more news about work. I don't need to worry about falling behind in my follow up work because they pulled me off it. Apparently they don't think that there is enough to do to have some working on it everyday. The other girl will go back to working on ti twice a week. Okay really? They hired me because they were super behind and needed another person. So now that we aren't backpiled they don't think they need someone full time??? It pisses me off because I feel that I was faster and did most of the work. But whatever, their problem now I guess.
So Now I will be a front desk person full time. (Shoot me please) Three days a week at the Indiana clinic and two days at the Francis clinic. These clinics are like night and day. Indiana is huge and super busy and has 4 receptionist. Francis is super tinyand just has one obviously. I still don't know what the hell I'm doing and now I have to relearn how they do things at the bigger clinic. I feel like I've been trainig for 6 months. Oh wait, I have been. I basically want to quit. But I said I would give it a try. (stupid conscience and work ethic) We'll see how long it last. I just can't take the stress and criticism. Especially when I already have another job that isn't stressful at all.
Okay enough of that. I really don't live a very exciting life right now. It's after 2 am and I'm at work and fighting a cold so excuse any errors or typos. Maybe I'll have some pics or a good story about my birthday. (or not we'll see) No random photo as I'm not at home either sorry.
Mona was fixed at Petsavers about a month ago. It was cheap but not really worth it. Her wound got infected and then she got a respiratory infection. Her sneezing has stopped and she's doing okay. But now Lisa has caught the infection and has been wheezing a lot and sneezing. All the money we saved by going to petsavers we spent on other visits to our vet and for the damn antibiotics. Let's hope Lisa is feeling better soon. Mona needs her big sister to play with. She just gets into everythign right now and runs around like a little crackhead.
Joe is doing well. Working hard at the Hospital. He still is talking about going back to school for Radiology but we'll see if that happens. A little over a month ago I came home from work and he had surprised me by making me dinner. He also bought a tablecloth and centerpiece and candles, made a romantic song cd and wore a tie. Totally cute and sweet. I should also explain that we don't use our kitchen table. It's purpose is to hold junk that has no other place. So he had to move the piles of crap and actually move the table into the middle of the kitchen. I am very blessed to have one of the last decent men on earth. (Even though he has yet to read this blog...ever!)
Anyway, as for me I have some more news about work. I don't need to worry about falling behind in my follow up work because they pulled me off it. Apparently they don't think that there is enough to do to have some working on it everyday. The other girl will go back to working on ti twice a week. Okay really? They hired me because they were super behind and needed another person. So now that we aren't backpiled they don't think they need someone full time??? It pisses me off because I feel that I was faster and did most of the work. But whatever, their problem now I guess.
So Now I will be a front desk person full time. (Shoot me please) Three days a week at the Indiana clinic and two days at the Francis clinic. These clinics are like night and day. Indiana is huge and super busy and has 4 receptionist. Francis is super tinyand just has one obviously. I still don't know what the hell I'm doing and now I have to relearn how they do things at the bigger clinic. I feel like I've been trainig for 6 months. Oh wait, I have been. I basically want to quit. But I said I would give it a try. (stupid conscience and work ethic) We'll see how long it last. I just can't take the stress and criticism. Especially when I already have another job that isn't stressful at all.
Okay enough of that. I really don't live a very exciting life right now. It's after 2 am and I'm at work and fighting a cold so excuse any errors or typos. Maybe I'll have some pics or a good story about my birthday. (or not we'll see) No random photo as I'm not at home either sorry.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Stuff and Things
So to take a break from all the stress at work I decided to get back to writing silly things about my life. Oh where to begin...
Let's start with Mona. The cute little kitty to the right. She recently got fixed and then her wound got infected. She had to wear a cone around her head for a couple weeks but is doing well now. A little too well maybe. Somehow all my towels got knocked off the closet shelf this morning. Don't let that cute face fool you. She's plotting against us by day while cuddling with us at night.
I would like to take a moment to talk about another great show I've been watching. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a little gem of a show from the fx network. I say it's vastly underrated but that's just me. If you're easily offended by anything the show is not for you. It's basically about a bunch of horrible people living in Philadelphia running a bar. The show was good in season 1 but definitely improved when Danny Devito joined the cast. It's rude, crude, makes no apologies, and is just down right hilarious. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard during a tv show in my life. Some of my favorite episode titles are as follows; "Charlie gets an abortion", "The gang finds a dumpster baby", "Charlie gets molested", "Sweet Dee is dating a retard", "The gang goes jihad". And my very favorite thus far..."Who pooped the bed?" I mean with titles like that need I really say more?
My netflix is sending my season 2 of Californiacation. I was hoping for season 4 of Dexter but oh well. I found season 1 of Californication to be decent. It features David Duchovny as a writer that's having a dry spell. He also is struggling to get his longtime girlfriend back and be a Dad to his preteen daughter. In the meantime he has no problem having lots of sex with other women. And then there's the problem that he slept w/his ex's current fiances 16 year old daughter. Oops. And the fact that she's crazy and obsessive doesn't help matters either.
Let's see...other than all the poo at work not much else is going on in my world. It's snowing again outside. Looks like it will keep it up for a few days. Sheesh if only I had the time or the equipment to go sledding or something and actually get some enjoyment out of it. Okay that's it. Until next time. Well how about one more random photo.
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