My Thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey

Yes I finally finished the book. But before I dive in let me give you the back story on how I even got started reading the book in the first place...

I had just had a baby so I was off work and up early everyday. I also was pretty much couch bound as I had a c section. But you already knew that. Well during this time I watched a lot of daytime tv. Every talk show kept mentioning this book Fifty Shades of Grey. I had never heard of it and had no idea what it was about. Well come to find out it was some sort of kinky love story involving bondage. Now who could resist that?

I did at first, but as the days of my tv watching went by I heard more things. Such as that it was selling in record numbers, some libraries had banned it, and it was being called mommy porn. Well I'm not one to be out of the loop so I decided I had to read what all the fuss was about. I mentioned to Joe that I wanted to read it. And he being the good listener that he is got it for me for Mother's Day. I can just picture it now. My kids all grown up and asking what Dad got Mom for her first Mother's Day. And then I say, "Why he got me a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. What is it you ask? Well you just buy a copy for yourself and check it out dear."

But back to the book. My overall impression is that it's a dirty version of Twilight. Let me explain. The two female characters have similar personalities. Bella and Anastasia are both plain, average girls with no self esteem. They both have never dated because despite lots of guys asking them out, the right guy just has never seemed to spark interest. They both are smart and live in a different city than their eccentric mother. And despite their average in every wayness, a incredibly good looking and rich guy falls for them. Only in Shades the guy is an s & m freak billionaire instead of a vampire. Despite these girls not thinking they are good enough for said men, the men come in and sweep them off their feet. Oh and both storeis take place in Washington state.

However, Anastasia has a sense of humor wheras Bella is pretty much a robot. The biggesst difference is that Ana let's her virginity get taken... and then some.

Christian Grey is also a more complicated and interesting character than Edward. For me what really drove the story was wanting to know more about him. As the reader we know he has secrets and some dark things in his past. But he also has a caring and funny side to him. That's how I got roped into wanting to read the next book. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

Now let's jump right into what you all want to know. (Admit it) The sex scenes. For something that caused quite a ruckus I was expecting some pretty weird and kinky shit. They had conversations about weird stuff but when it came down to it I didn't feel the sex scenes were worse than any other novel out these days. There was just a lot more of them. But maybe my expectations were raised since the book was banned. I will admit that I was somewhat interested when he mentioned the carabiner on the ceiling. How the hell does that work? Maybe I don't want to know.

And let's go back to the being banned part. Which first off banning any book is ridiculous. Adults can't tell other adults what to read. I mean you might as well ban every other romance novel on the market. Hell why not ban the bible there's some pretty messed up shit in there too. Okay sorry I got side tracked. I'll get off my soap box now.

 But back to the story. Despite their sexual relationship I do feel that Ana and Christian have chemistry outside the bedroom. Meaning they have real conversations and joke with each other. And they genuinely enjoy each others company. So despite them coming from completely different worlds I see them working as a couple. They just have some obstacles to work through.

I don't want to reveal too much but I will say that we do find out a few things about what makes Christian tick. I'll just say he was adopted, his mother was a crach whore, and he was somebody's submissive for six years. If you want to know more you'll have to read the book. As I was reading it I decided that I didn't want to read the rest of the series. But those last 30 or so pages roped me right in. Bastards.

Last night I picked up the other two books but haven't started reading them yet. I also just finished the latest Sookie Stackhouse book. I enjoyed it very much and was sad when it was over. I'm telling you, if you haven't read that series you're missing out. I'm hoping the next two Shades stories aren't a total waste but we'll see.

Baby Steps

So I last left off with discussing how weight watchers was going. Current total is 12 pounds down so far. This last week I also tried to get in more activity. Allow me to discuss.

Since I do not have the time to go to the gym or go to zumba as much as I would like I need to get more creative. I do like putting Grayson in the stroller and going on a walk but with the 98 degree heat I haven't been taking him out because I think he would just get too hot. I did decide to try a workout dvd called Buff Moms. It has four short workouts on it. Which is good if you're short on time. You can do one or all four. I did one and Grayson was still asleep so I decided to do the ab workout. Let me remind everyone that into the second trimester of pregnancy they don't recommend ab exercises. And after a c section it was six more weeks of no working the stomach muscles. So it had been about eight months since my abs got any exercise. I did a plank and felt like I was getting ripped in half. I also made it to the gym twice this week. My stomach has been sore all week long. I think I'll try and go walk around the mall with him so we don't have to deal with the heat.

I'm having trouble deciding what a goal weight should be. I just don't want to be unrealistic and pick some goal weight that I won't be able to maintain. I guess for now I'll just keep on trucking and see where it takes me.  I also have another wedding to be in next year so that is some motivation for me. But I really didn't start weight watchers to lose a few pounds. I did it because I want to change my life. And besides no matter how much weight I lose I'll still be the fattest bridesmaid so I just need to get used to that.

But enough of dieting let's talk about something else. Grayson is getting so big already. He last weighed in at 13 pounds and 24.5 inches. He is also holding his head and chest up better when put on his stomach. As much as I hate getting up early he is usually his happiest in the morning and full of smiles. Above is one of my favorite pictures of him.

I wish I knew what babies are thinking. Especially what they dream about. He sometimes cries in his sleep and smiles too. I'm still just in awe of him. It's hard to think about him being five one day and going to Kindergarten.

Other than Grayson and ww I don't really lead a very exciting life. I'm a little over halfway in Fifty Shades of Grey. And don't worry I will be posting a review when I finish. I'm contemplating signing up for the triathlon at Liberty Lake next year. But not sure how I would train for it. You need time to do it and with a small child I'm not sure how I would. How does one train for the swim without a pool or a gym with a pool?? Do I need a new bike? Or is my current bike okay? What if I don't train for the swim and drown in the lake? It's these kinds of questions that plague me. But I have until the fall to think about it I guess. Not much else to say today. Till next time friends.

Light Bulb

Hello again friends. Just some quick updates in the life of me. I'm back at work three nights a week. Working overnights is rough but Joe usually let's me sleep since he doesn't go to work till one. So far so good. But by the time it's Friday I'm pretty tired. I wish I had more time to blog but try to find the time when I can. I wanted to write this current blog weeks ago but better late than never.

I've recently decided to join weight watchers again. The first time I joined just to get the stuff to learn how to do it. I never went to meetings as I was a full time college student and working almost full time. Whenever there was a meeting I either had class or work so meetings weren't really an option. I also didn't think that I needed them. Tomorrow will be my fourth meeting since rejoining and I actually enjoy them. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Allow me to backtrack.

My past attempts at weight watchers (ww for short) went well but I clearly fell off the wagon a few times. Usually when I would get down to 22 points a day I just couldn't do it. I felt like I was starving and just quit. Or I thought I knew it all and would slack on keeping track of my points. But I decided to rejoin mainly because with baby I don't have time to hit the gym or zumba like I used to. I actually enjoy working out but my eating has never been in control.

Reading the scale has been just embarrassing. There was a time in my life that I could proudly say I lost over 60 pounds on my own. I kept it off for years and swore I would never go back to that weight. But here I am having gained almost all of it back. I also can't help but feel like a failure. I was a success story but now I'm where I started and it sucks. For a long time I was in denial about how much weight I had gained since I put it on slowly. But the scale and my too small clothes don't lie. But what really made me notice was pictures. I would look at pictures of me and think, 'what the hell happened? Am I really that fat?'

So let's go back to me rejoining ww. At my first meeting the lady said something that really stuck with me and has given me so much motivation. The topic was what food is worthy. Basically they want you to eat what you like. Use your points only on what you deem worthy. The statement, "we don't want you to anything that you aren't willing to do for the rest of your life." just clicked with me. I had a rhetorical light bulb over my head. It just made so much sense to me. Realistically I won't give up all junk food. To say that I will never eat pizza or ice cream ever again is ridiculous. I just don't need to go on constant binders.

Before during all my other dieting attempts I would say, "oh I can't have that now." But I just need to realize that I can have it sometimes. I shouldn't feel deprived. And I don't. It's still an adjustment though. I can have a Mt. Dew sometimes, but I don't need one everyday. I would also get frustrated if I screwed up and ate something that was a bad choice. I basically had a screw it attitude and then just ate crap the rest of the day because my points had already gone to hell. Now I just need to not beat myself up over one bad decision.

The hardest part for me will be finding new ways to cope with stress. Food is the one thing I go to when things don't go my way. It should not be my comfort. I really don't have an answer for this but hopefully can figure it out. The good thing is my work is not that stressful and I don't come home wanting to ravage the fridge.

My biggest motivation is Grayson. He deserves the best mom that I can be. I don't want to be a fat, lazy mom that can't play with her kids. I also want this lifestyle change so that our kids don't grow up fat. The thought of him going through what I did is heartbreaking to me. I try to tell myself to think of him whenever I want sweets. I love him more than cookies but damn it if they don't taste delicious.

I know it will take time but I know I can do this. I've done it once I can do it again. And I want it to be for good this time. I don't want to rejoin five years from now back here again. I've lost almost 8 pounds so far. It's a good start on what I hope will be an amazing journey.